Who listens? Who follows advice? Who believes? We only believe what we want to believe ....... I can't say I wasn't warned. My mother warned me .... I didn't listen ..... His ex-wife warned me and I didn't listen. I only believed he wanted me and loved me. That we would have a perfect life, him and I, my children and his children. Oh things were wonderful to start but slowly, without me realizing, .... things began to change. He was secretly drinking and leaving me with all the kids...... sleeping so much ..... saying unkind comments. I was confused and knew I wanted out ... but didn't know how. I made up lies when he wasn't available .... about him being ill or working too hard ....when really he was drunk again. Then stupidly I married him believing things would change. But of course they didn't! Now I was his wife I was told I had to support him, believe everything he said. I wasn't allowed my own thoughts. He got angry if I contradicted him .... so it was easier to agree. He made comments about me, about the children, about neighbors .... and friends and family. No-one was not judged by him. Life was almost unbearable, yet still I stayed .... put up with the abuse. No he never hit me, although he came close on occasions when he was angry with something I said. And yet again I still didn't leave, still made excuses for him. The children grew and left. But the comments didn't...... the control didn't. I wasn't happy. I tried many times to leave, he promised he would change and again I would stay. But he didn't change. He couldn't change. And one day, a few years ago I got the courage to leave. Living on your own is not easy at first. I had never lived on my own. BUT .... wow did I feel different. He continued after I left. I had to face court bit with that came the restraining order. Finally he can no longer enter my life! I am happy now. I have had to learn that life can be good, I had to learn that I am not the stupid person he claimed I was. And I also found that so many friends were so happy I was out. So many people who could see how wrong it all was. I am loved and supported so much. I continue to live on my own, I continue to try and believe in myself and most of all, I AM happy. I look back and I know so long ago it wasn't right ... believe your gut feelings .... life is too short .... live it to the fullest. Be where you are happy! I have amazing children, amazing friends and they all shower me with love and support. My advice is if it isn't right .... get out!
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