That's the good thing about being me, that I AM a work in progress. It means that there will always be room for me to grow, to change, to evolve. Room to become the person I long to be.
This doesn't mean that I set unattainable goals for myself. What This means is that I set a little goal and reach it and then use that as the springboard for the next thing.
I started out very small- to find what's good about me and write those things down. I listened to the positives that the people I care about, and who truly care about me, told me.
Even though I couldn't see them they were there, buried in the soil of my being waiting to be watered and bathed in sunlight, push through to the surface and bloom. It's the whole "mustard seed" thing I was taught as a kid, sitting on that Sunday morning church pew, listening to the man in his Good Levi's and white shirt. Having the courage to believe, to try, to do. Risking a small failure for a greater outcome.
And it's not easy very often but the not easy makes the result mean more. Some days I feel the weight of the whole world on my shoulders and want to crumble. Some days I am soaring above the world and enjoying the view. But each day I get up and get ready to face my day. I look in the mirror and say to the man reflected therein that I am loved, I am loveable, I am worthy, I am capable.
I am enough. I am MORE than enough.
I read my list of things that are awesome about me and I tell myself that I AM going to be a positive impact on the world, that the world has more than enough negative already.
I AM going to make someone feel loved and respected and worthy and enough today. And I AM someone.
I know what it's like to feel as though I am less than nothing, unwanted, unappreciated, unloved, unimportant. Every night when I lay my head on my pillow I ask myself if I made anyone feel these things today. Most nights the answer is no. Most nights I sleep on the pillow of good conscience.
Some nights I owe myself an amends for making me feel one or more of these things, some nights I owe someone else the next day.
It's okay to be human. It's okay to be imperfect. It's okay to do your best and fall short. Hell, it's okay not to be okay!
All that means is that you are a work in progress. And that's okay, too.
Treat others with kindness and respect and treat yourself with kindness and respect also. You deserve and are worthy of those things!
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